How to masturbate for your boyfriend

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Sign up or log in to share. I'd like knowing during the first stages of a relationship. That's nothing to keep secret and your boyfriend probably already suspects that you masturbate so you might as well be able to talk about it if you want to.

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Is this normal? That can feel awkward at best and like a betrayal at worst. But is it actually cause for concern?

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By John DeVore. I realize there are more than two types of women in the world, so forgive my rhetorical cheat. I am not, in fact, a woman.

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Ah, masturbating. But this is totally not the case, explains sexpert and Lovehoney ambassador, Tracey Cox. How can masturbating in front of your partner be more intimate than sex, I hear you ask?

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Like many women, I'm guilty of sometimes forgetting to masturbate when I'm in a relationship. Sure, it'll still happen occasionally — like when he's out of town, or working on a Sunday — but by and large, I've tended to reserve my solo play for times when I'm single. Which, I've come to believe, is a big mistake on my part.

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The idea of masturbating in front of someone else can, understandably, be a little bit daunting. It can make you feel vulnerable, and maybe even a little bit silly or shameful. But, there's nothing to be ashamed of - and it can also build intimacy and connection between you and a sexual partner.

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Many of us masturbate. When I first bought my beloved Doxy mains-powered wand vibrator which rumbles with more strength than the belly of a dragon on hunger strike — I used it so much that I bruised my cooze. While travelling with friends in South East Asia, I pretended to have food poisoning just so I could spend an uninterrupted half-hour self-pleasuring in the hotel bathroom.

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Considering that we live in a world that is barely cool with admitting that women masturbate at all — and a society where the idea of whether or not people in a relationship should masturbate remains, improbably, a hot topic — masturbating with your partner isn't necessarily on most of our sexual menus. In fact, mutual masturbation keeps a pretty low overall profile in our culture; you don't see romantic leads rubbing one out together in sexy movies; your friends probably don't brag about finally whacking the mole together with a new love; and you were probably taught growing up that masturbating with a partner didn't "count" as sex, and should only be used as a last resort between people who don't want to have "real" sex yet. But none of this stuff actually means that mutual masturbation isn't a great option to include on your partnered sexual menu. Masturbation is not only not a substitute for sex that should be dropped as soon as the "real thing" becomes available — masturbating together can be good for your sex lives, your relationship, and your junk.

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He recently asked me to pleasure myself in front of him, and it's not the first time he has made this request. I've heard this can be really hot for couples and I want to try it, but I'm worried I'll feel awkward the whole time. How can I masturbate for my BF without feeling so uncomfortable?

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Think masturbation is nothing but a selfish, self-indulgent act? Well think again, ladies. Masturbation is actually a great way to spice up your sex life by helping strengthen your bond with your partner and improve your sexual confidence. So what are you waiting for?

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